Well, I have hit a tough spot in parenting- I now can personally attest to why they call it the terrible twos. Jeremy has been gone to camp since last Thursday and Grace is exerting her independence like never before. I have to confess I have been at the end of my rope more than once and tears have been involved. Basically to sum things up Grace has decided she no longer is interested in listening and obeying. When I read Kristina's blog about the fun things her and Sadie are doing I teared up. I felt like that was exactly all the fun things I was experiencing with Grace last summer. Where has my happy daughter gone?I will briefly describe the reality of what I am going through simply so I can look back and clearly remember the challenges. We have taken a break from potty training. Grace was pretty much down to one or two accidents a week and has out of the blue totally regressed. I also feel like I can't take her places because she is very fond of throwing tantrums. Oh, and did I mention she also hits when she gets frustrated? I used to see kids out of control and thought why do those parents give in and let their kids run the show. Well, I have repented for my judgmental thoughts!!
So what do you do when your husband is at camp and your toddler is out of control? You pray and call your mom. The funny thing is I always thought I was a good kid. I very rarely got in trouble in school. I feel so foolish even saying this but I thought I was the "easy" one (my brother can be kind of onery) But by trying to parent Grace I am actually discovering a piece of myself I'm not sure I have fully recognized. According to my mother I was a very strong-willed toddler. She says I would tell her I hated her, had very specific ideas about what I would and would not wear, and I was a terrible little friend. She says I should be grateful Kristina is such a good forgiving friend because sometimes I would be awful to her. (Sorry, Kristina!)
The words of the song, "My daughter's Eyes" come to mind.
"In my daughter's eyes
I can see the future
A reflection of who I am
And what we'll be"
So I have already seen how parenting is challenging me to grow, but I guess I never thought it would teach me about who I was. And in a way it gives me a little piece of hope to hold on to. While I'm not perfect I no longer tell my mom I hate her or am mean to my friends. So I am trying to recommit myself to seeing Grace's strong-willed tendencies in the most positive light possible. I call her my "little leader." And I try and dream about what God can do with such a strong resolve to make things happen... (Oh, and I'm reading Dr. Dobson's book on Parenting the Strong Willed Child!)