My life sometimes feels like an endless "to do" list. And I am a task-oriented person so I know I sometimes miss the things God is trying to teach me. But, I've found when God repeats something multiple times he is usually trying to get my attention. Recently the word He has been trying to impress on my heart is gratitude.
The Sunday Titus was born we heard a sermon on the prescription for worry. Our minister challenged us to make a list of things we were grateful for. He explained that being grateful would cure us of worry. I was sitting in church thinking, "I will have to do a blog post and make my list." I'm not a chronic worrier but thought it sounded like a good idea....little did I know later that day I would have a chance to test my ability not to worry in a very real way when Titus made his surprise emergency arrival!! (Not sure I passed the test.)
Then when we were visiting Kristina she had each of the girls tell something they were grateful for before they went to bed. She also did a great post on her gratitude list & challenged anyone who read it to do the same. I once again thought, I should make a list...
I am currently reading, "Becoming More Than A Good Biblestudy Girl" by Lysa Terkeurst. Once again the idea of gratitude was one of the subjects she discusses in the book. It was this third time of seeing the subject that God started to get my attention.
I also noticed something in Grace's prayers. She started praying every day, "Thank you for daddy's job." She has been saying it each time she prays. She often says Thank you for... followed by a list of things. I think this caught my attention because she originally would say she wanted God to pick a different job for daddy.
By this time I was convinced God was prompting me to make my own list of things I am grateful for. But, I've struggled to set aside the time. Then last week God really hurt my feelings. Something happened that made me very frustrated with where we are at in seeking his direction for our lives. We seem to be in a period of waiting. While my level of contentment with this "waiting period" goes up and down with emotion, last week I decided I had enough. I was tired of trying to be "spiritual" and act like I loved where we were at. So, I have been pouting. (I know not very spiritual) And I definitely didn't feel like making a list of things I was grateful for! But, I've tried to be honest with God about my struggles. The thing that kept coming to mind was that God has really hurt my feelings & I knew this was a chapter I had just read in Lysa's book. But, I had to go back and read the chapter again because for the life of me I couldn't remember what she said to do...
She gave two helpful thoughts:
- Asking why is the wrong question. A better question is, "Now that this has happened, WHAT am I supposed to do with it?"
-It takes time.
The truth of the matter is I'm not sure what the answer is to the above question yet. But, God has been clear in impressing on my heart that we need to take time to learn what he is teaching and heal. And that takes time. (ugh!) So, how do I find contentment to wait? God has been showing me all along. Make a gratitude list, find a way to be grateful for where we are and stop obsessing with where we are going. So simple to type, so complicated to do. But, its time to be obedient and let God work on helping my feelings to follow.
I am grateful....
-that God is faithful even when I am not.
-that God is patient, I find being patient incredibly difficult!! And it is one of the things I truly desire to develop.
-for my husband. God really knew what he was doing pairing us up. He compliments me and challenges me in a wonderful way.
-for Grace because being her mom will help me develop the patience I long for.
-for Faith because she makes me laugh.
-for Titus because his very presence reminds me he is a miracle.
-for our grey shower because I hardly ever clean it and it doesn't look dirty. (gross but true)
-for my friend Rhiannon because I have never had a friend like her, and God has taught me a lot through our friendship.
-for my parents because they are simply amazing, and I feel truly blessed that God put me in our family.
-for my "girls" (my group of college girlfriends that I continue to "do life with" even if it is long distance.)
-for Laura Moore and her mentorship.
-for our home.
-for my bed & uninterrupted sleep. (when I can get it)
-for the generosity of families who share "handed down" clothes with my children.
-for the opportunity to do my dream job, being a stay at home mom.
-for discovering what a blog is and the joy writing this blog brings me.
-cooking, it is one of my favorite things to do.
-traveling places.
-the sub pump that is keeping our basement from flooding.
-for my kids' rest time because it keeps me sane.
-for Spring, and changing seasons.
-for my husband's job, during a season where many face unemployment we are blessed to have an income.
-for wise Christians Jeremy and I are able to call as seek advice from.
-for sunshine.
-for my minivan (dorky, but what else would hold 3 carseats so nicely?)
-for endless hugs and kisses from my kidos.
-for the opportunity to be involved with missions while living in the midwest.
-for my cell phone.
-and so many more things I am working on noticing as I live my daily life.
Here are a few photos of things I am grateful for:
Titus' chubby cheeks-I can't kiss them enough!
Rest Time- apparently if you want your strong-willed four year old to actually sleep all you have to do is build a tent. Who knew?
Love when the girls play dress up, it reminds me of fun memories from my childhood.
Faith has her baby in a "sling" (a polka dot dress up dress) just like me. I am so thankful I get to influence my kids every day as a stay at home mom.
When my kids plan a tea party for me!
When the girls pick flowers for me!
When my husband helps me make a "fence" for our driveway so the kids can go outside and play in our backyard!
What are you grateful for?
