The laundry is piled high.
The dishes are covering every inch of our counter space.
Titus is sleeping in our master bathroom.
We can't seem to conquer actually going to bed at bedtime. (at least our kids)
I'm exhausted, but I really should be tackling something, anything really, off my never ending to do list.
I haven't figured out the ideal morning schedule that gets us joyfully out the door with hair done, teeth brushed, and Scripture read....without the phrase. "We are going to be late..."
I'm overwhelmed with cupcake orders and trying to still cook healthy budget friendly meals for my family. Did I mention the dishes?
People don't understand how we would consider another child at our current income level.
These are the moments.... I doubt.
Satan has found a whisper that becomes a refrain when I'm at the end of myself.
Lord, can we really do this? Can I manage one more little person's needs?
Today I'm barely managing adjusting to Grace & Faith's new school schedule...DOUBT.
Fund raising ideas began but wait unfinished...DOUBT.
Waiting for our house to sell...DOUBT.
Trying to keep Titus from becoming a regular on the poison control hotline...DOUBT.
Trying not to leave my husband with what is leftover of me at the end of the day...DOUBT.
And yet when I read the Word and listen to the whisper of another who is much greater I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that this is what God has called us to. I pray for our child. I wait for our child. And if it takes dishes & laundry piled high, if it takes time for our house to sell and the funds to come, if I have to give up more of myself than ever before than that is a sacrifice worth making. Because when I stop and think about a child who needs a family I know that for a child somewhere we are that family.
These are the moments... I know that God is in this adoption and He will make a way when there seems to be no way.