Today my best friend moved to Romania.
I'm not Michelle's oldest friend. I'm definitely not Michelle's only friend. I'm not even her only best friend. She is well loved. But I am a friend who loved her with all that I have until I had to let her go. I have loved her babies as my own. And now I am a friend that will love her from afar.
There are two things I remember about the beginning of our friendship. Cristi and Michelle came back to our church and were old friends to many, but we were "new" since they had been there. They joined our small group and she said, "Cristi and I think you are a couple we'd really like to get to know." She had me at hello with those sweet words! Not long after that we went to get David. Michelle jumped in to help with our welcome home party. And at that party David & Myles became best buddies from Day 1. Its like the only two kids with international ties just found each other and that was it. David didn't speak a bit of English, but Myles didn't care.
And if I'm really honest there were times when I tried so hard to not let this sweet friendship blossom. We knew from the very beginning that eventually we would have to let them go. And a part of my heart said, "NO! Don't do it. It will only be hard when they leave." And it is hard. I was right. But I couldn't do it. I couldn't hold back.
And so we made memories. And made them family. We shared meals. We learned to run. We had inside jokes. We did life together. We did 50,000 goodbye parties. We packed suitcases. We got those babies dressed together one last time. And today we actually let them go.
I stink at goodbyes. They are not my thing. I'm the one who would just assume sneak out, say see you later, keep it light and normal. But, I've been asking God to teach me how to say goodbye well. For my sake. For my son's sake. For the kingdom's sake.
I know in my brain we will adjust. I have lots of friends across the ocean who I love dearly. That is not new to me. Its not new to love missionary friends well or send packages or get on a plane. I just preferred Michelle stayed in the "doing life together" category. Tomorrow I will remember God is teaching me much and I know none of its wasted. He is weaving it all into his plans for our lives. But today my heart is just really stinking sad.
Michelle, Our lives have been weaved so closely together as we run, pray, go to bible study, watch our kids play, worship, and a million other things together. And trying to untangle them is really really difficult. This last week has been so hard as we packed up your life. But today as I face my messy house, and all that stuff once yours now mine, and regular old life that is what is the hardest. Because I really prefer you here. But I'm choosing praise. I'm choosing to send you out well because I love you so much and I have no doubt that we are exactly where God wants us both to be. There are no "hamburger helper" moments left only true heartfelt tears and prayers for this new leg of the journey.
