Almost Home

 “I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers.” Ephesians 1:16

How do we say thank you? We know it may seem like a simple thing...just say it.  However, the words don’t convey our sincere gratitude to so many people.  People that have walked with us every step.  People that stayed up late working on the crazy fundraisers we planned.  Friends who bought 1,000’s of cupcakes.  Brothers and sisters listening to our struggles throughout this process.  A body of believers that has prayed for us.  When we arrive home with our son it will complete a long struggle that we hope glorifies God. We are blessed to see our needs and concerns disappear not because of our capabilities or resources but because of His.  Our son has, like all of our children, an amazing story.  We are blessed to say thank you for being a part of his story.

On Thursday, January 9th after 2 weeks in West Africa (and 2 years of waiting before that!) we will finally be ready to come home to Hannibal with our newest addition.  We are so, so excited to be coming home and to finally be together as a family of 6!

We wanted to take a moment and write a bit about David's transition when we get home. As we mentioned earlier we are very blessed by our friends, family, & church family. And while we are so thankful to have such a large support network, it may be very confusing for David at first.

For this reason, when we first get home David will be staying at home. The fancy adoption term is “cocooning” and everybody does it differently. We are hoping to cocoon for about 4-6 weeks but we are being flexible. David is used to  being in one place (his orphanage) and having rotating caregivers (nannies). We are hoping this time at home will be a great chance to show him what being a family is all about and for him to figure out exactly who his mom, dad, & siblings are.

Since we know you can’t wait to meet David we are having a homecoming party the first Saturday we are home at the church. We hope it will be a wonderful celebration of ALL God has done. You can meet David then before we “hide out” for awhile. Here are some tips for interacting with him.

~Instead of focusing on the don’ts lets start with a DO. Feel free to say, “Bonjour or Hello.” He loves to wave and greet people. He is also pretty good at handshakes and high fives. Please don’t hug, kiss, or attempt to hold him in your arms or on your lap. If he requests to be picked up just send him our way! This helps him understand that his mom & dad are special.

~David loves to play and giggle once he warms up. When playing with David, please redirect requests for nurturing back to Jeremy or Jennifer.  So if he is hungry, thirsty, gets hurt, needs a cuddle, etc., please direct him back to us, with a friendly, "Let's see your mom for a [kiss, drink, etc]"  When we meet his needs that helps him figure out what it means to have a mom or dad to take care of you.

We need you to extend grace to us as we figure this adoptive parenting thing out! In turn, we plan to extend grace if you happen to forget and break one of the “rules.” Parenting an older adopted child is tricky business and we know we have a lot to learn! We love you all and can't wait to see you!

Jehovah Jireh- The Lord will Provide

About a month ago we were here. It was a crazy unknown place. And it left me literally sobbing on the alter at our church. I was begging God. Begging him to bring my son home safely. Begging him to make me willing to sacrifice. Begging him to provide whatever we needed.

And God has not disappointed. Since I last shared we have found a new agency to help us finish our adoption journey. This is huge. Some of you might remember that switching agencies wasn't simple, because there weren't any other agencies working in Guinea. We were back to the you have to do this, but there isn't anyone who does that place. (We've been here before, right Christine?) But, God in his amazing grace quickly used another family who is adopting from Guinea who is actually behind un in the process to connect with a lawyer who runs an agency in Tacoma, Washington called Faith International Adoptions. That very Monday after I sobbed my heart out to God I was able to talk with John Meske from Faith International and I had an incredible feeling of peace. I knew in my heart this was God's provision. Their agency has worked in countries without an established program, they are very familiar with the Hague, and they were willing to help! Did I mention they were willing to help us for FREE and John spoke French? Which was like the perfect icing on the cake. WOW, God! After networking with the other adoptive families who were in the same boat as us we all agreed that this was where God was heading.

Faith International has been amazing to work with and have been working hard to get everything that had been done incorrectly sorted out. And so we have finally filed the paperwork we thought we would be sending off in mid-July. In the end we see SO many benefits that have come from this major unforeseen upheaval. All the families from A New Arrival switched together to the new agency and we once again are working together to learn the process. This agency is much more suited for our needs and has a lot more experience. Our dream of seeing a program started is on much more solid ground. The Facebook group that was started with families who have adopted from Guinea and are in the process has been a huge encouragement! We've found out we aren't as alone as we thought. While we were pretty aware of the US couples in the process we've met couples from Canada and some expatriate families who are serving in other parts of Africa who are also in the process.

Our church has been worshipping around the different names of God. Earlier this summer we spent a week worshipping Jehovah Jireh, which means The Lord Will Provide. I had heard this name of God before. Mostly people praising God for his financial provision. But, it was fascinating to connect this name of God with the Old Testament story of Abraham and Isaac. Abraham was about ready to sacrifice his son Isaac. He took everything he needed for the sacrifice. Just before they reached the place Isaac said, "Behold the fire and the wood, but where is the lamb for the burnt offering?? And Abraham said, "God will provide for Himself the lamb for the burnt offering my son." We all know that just as Abraham was about to kill his son the Lord stepped in and provided a ram for the sacrifice.  After the sacrifice Abraham named the place "The Lord WIll Provide" which in Hebrew is YHWH-jireh. "Jireh" translates into "Provide."Pro means "before" and video mean "to see." So it means to see in advance or before the need is known. God is preparing to answer before we even know there is a need.

We have seen the truth of this passage in our own lives this summer.

I was concerned about finding another agency. Jehovah Jireh has provided with an amazing agency.

 I was concerned about what it would cost. Jehovah Jireh has provided for every step.

I was concerned about if I could keep going. Jehovah Jireh has provided encouragement from those who know this journey.

I was concerned about how long it would take.

This is the one area that hasn't changed. Its still going to take longer. Our sweet boy is still going to inch closer and closer to his third birthday in the orphanage. It's put us in a new season I hadn't anticipated. I am now at home with just Titus as both the girls are in school. And part of me feels like to be loyal to David I need to pout about that. I always thought that when this fall came it would be the "girls" at school and the "boys" at home. I still think its God's will that David be in a family as soon as possible. But, I am going to CHOOSE to trust in the fact that God loves and cares for both of my sons. I'm going to trust this good gift of extra mommy time that Titus is enjoying. And I'm going to pray like crazy for the son that I still cannot pour into with my presence.

Jehovah Jireh has provided peace and the willingness to continue to wait.

On the home front God specifically showed me this week that he can provide things that I couldn't even dream to pray for and its a pretty interesting story. But more on that soon.

Keep praying God's favor over that paperwork. We are praying by God's grace it will move quickly and not have any "red flags" that will prolong the process. We love you all for journeying with us!

Overcomer

It's been a long week. The journey of international adoption is a roller coaster, but this week hasn't even been ups and downs. It's been mostly the crazy unexpected free fall of the unknown. And to be totally honest its been hard. It's left me feeling fragile, like the next thing might break me.

I am typically one to share. I want people to feel like they are on this crazy God adventure with us because in many ways they are. Our family, our small group, our church family have been with us, supported us, prayed for us.

But, its also our very personal journey and this week I couldn't decide where I landed. Did I want people to know how to pray or did I just need some privacy?

Writing for me is like therapy (free therapy!). I sat down and started this post like 3 times but I couldn't find the words to share what is going on in my heart. Because the truth is we are still in the midst of the unknown and we haven't seen God claim the victory YET.

On Monday the family that is paving the way for us shared the sad news that they would have to return from West Africa without their boys. Mistakes had been made and they had no choice but to annul their adoption and begin again. It broke my heart for them and it scared my pants off. They are sacrificing so we and others can come behind.

We are right on their heals and had been hoping to file for our travel approval in the next two weeks. We finally thought we were moving forward. My heart had begun to hope again that we were "getting close." And then in the middle of everything we discovered that there were some unforeseen issues with our adoption agency. I don't want to go in to specifics but the result is that we will most likely need to change agencies. This means more paperwork, more time, more money.

A new agency must be chosen. Fees must be negotiated. Steps done will most likely have to be redone. And we now have no idea when David will come home. And I've teetered on the edge of believing I can do this. I am not a pioneer by nature. I like routine, predictability, and order. And I'm pretty sure that is why God chose to put my son in a country with no established adoption program. Because we aren't just getting a son. We are getting a hands on lesson in trusting God when things are TOTALLY out of our control.

Recently several friends have given birth to their fourth child. In my sinfulness I look and I'm secretly jealous. I think, "So easy. You get pregnant and in 9 months (ish) you get a beautiful baby." But, I know that is a lie. Having experienced the pain of miscarriage I know its not really that simple. And coming up on the one year birthday of my miracle niece I know for a fact that pregnancy is neither simple nor predictable.

And so I choose to believe truth in the midst of painful circumstances. I have reminded myself a million times this week that while we were shocked at all the setbacks God was not surprised. He is sovereign. He sees my hurt. He sees my son. God can overcome. He can make a way where there doesn't seem to be a way (or at least a speedy easy one). I already see glimpses of the good He is going to do. This week a private Facebook group was started for the families on this journey. Already it has brought a new sense of community and greater information sharing. I know that the great stories always make you think things aren't going to work out in the end. And God is a great writer of stories, ones that bring HIM the most glory.

Oh, God make me long for you to get glory the way I long for my son to come home. Take the selfish parts of me and replace them with a desire to serve you even in the hard unknown places. Remind me that I may be fragile, but you are not. Make me an overcomer...

This song totally blessed me this week. If you haven't heard it yet take a listen. Thanks for loving us and praying for us its such a blessing.