Overcomer

It's been a long week. The journey of international adoption is a roller coaster, but this week hasn't even been ups and downs. It's been mostly the crazy unexpected free fall of the unknown. And to be totally honest its been hard. It's left me feeling fragile, like the next thing might break me.

I am typically one to share. I want people to feel like they are on this crazy God adventure with us because in many ways they are. Our family, our small group, our church family have been with us, supported us, prayed for us.

But, its also our very personal journey and this week I couldn't decide where I landed. Did I want people to know how to pray or did I just need some privacy?

Writing for me is like therapy (free therapy!). I sat down and started this post like 3 times but I couldn't find the words to share what is going on in my heart. Because the truth is we are still in the midst of the unknown and we haven't seen God claim the victory YET.

On Monday the family that is paving the way for us shared the sad news that they would have to return from West Africa without their boys. Mistakes had been made and they had no choice but to annul their adoption and begin again. It broke my heart for them and it scared my pants off. They are sacrificing so we and others can come behind.

We are right on their heals and had been hoping to file for our travel approval in the next two weeks. We finally thought we were moving forward. My heart had begun to hope again that we were "getting close." And then in the middle of everything we discovered that there were some unforeseen issues with our adoption agency. I don't want to go in to specifics but the result is that we will most likely need to change agencies. This means more paperwork, more time, more money.

A new agency must be chosen. Fees must be negotiated. Steps done will most likely have to be redone. And we now have no idea when David will come home. And I've teetered on the edge of believing I can do this. I am not a pioneer by nature. I like routine, predictability, and order. And I'm pretty sure that is why God chose to put my son in a country with no established adoption program. Because we aren't just getting a son. We are getting a hands on lesson in trusting God when things are TOTALLY out of our control.

Recently several friends have given birth to their fourth child. In my sinfulness I look and I'm secretly jealous. I think, "So easy. You get pregnant and in 9 months (ish) you get a beautiful baby." But, I know that is a lie. Having experienced the pain of miscarriage I know its not really that simple. And coming up on the one year birthday of my miracle niece I know for a fact that pregnancy is neither simple nor predictable.

And so I choose to believe truth in the midst of painful circumstances. I have reminded myself a million times this week that while we were shocked at all the setbacks God was not surprised. He is sovereign. He sees my hurt. He sees my son. God can overcome. He can make a way where there doesn't seem to be a way (or at least a speedy easy one). I already see glimpses of the good He is going to do. This week a private Facebook group was started for the families on this journey. Already it has brought a new sense of community and greater information sharing. I know that the great stories always make you think things aren't going to work out in the end. And God is a great writer of stories, ones that bring HIM the most glory.

Oh, God make me long for you to get glory the way I long for my son to come home. Take the selfish parts of me and replace them with a desire to serve you even in the hard unknown places. Remind me that I may be fragile, but you are not. Make me an overcomer...

This song totally blessed me this week. If you haven't heard it yet take a listen. Thanks for loving us and praying for us its such a blessing.

You Might Have Been Married 9 Years if...

You Might Have Been Married 9 Years if...

-You realize you are still wearing some of the same clothes you owned when you got married, and you are proud because they still fit!

-You wish you'd been married 10 years so you could justify taking a trip.

- You still feel like a newlywed but your towels are threadbare and your kitchen gadgets are starting to break.

-It's been a long time since anyone called you by your maiden name.

-You need a master's degree to coordinate the logistics of an actual date night.

-People have stopped commenting on how young you are when they see your entourage.

-You are still living in your "starter" house.

-You can't remember the last time you had an uninterrupted conversation.

-You are on your 3rd wedding ring. (American Eagle ring anyone?)

- You drive a mini van, and your just thankful its not a full size van at this point.

-You use the phrase, "Remember when..." a lot.

-You've quit jobs, diets, and making plans, but you haven't quit on each other.

-You figure out you from pictures through the years you've had every possible haircut there is.

- You still actually like to spend time together.

-You can still laugh together even if its at each other.

-You run into people who knew you when you were engaged and they say, "You have how many kids?"

-You realize you've lived more of your married life in Missouri than Illinois, but you still prefer Orange to Gold.

-All your pictures of the two of you are from one of you holding out the camera and clicking.

- You are still brave enough to take you kids camping, but only for 1 night at a time.

-You still like to kiss and your kids aren't big enough to say, "Gross!" yet.

-You have your very own family traditions.

-You're running out of creative "free" anniversary gifts.

-You can't remember the last movie you saw in the theater, but you are sure it wasn't a romantic one.

-You haven't given up on getting each other a Christmas ornament yet.

-You occasionally fantasize about the empty nest years.

- Your favorite conversations are when your driving down the road and all your kids have fallen asleep.

- You still love to do the same things together, you just don't get to do them as often.

-You have to fight your daughters for a date night.

-You have survived the transition to one kid, two kids, three kids, and you are brave enough to take on four.

-You are done "having" babies and have started adopting them.

-You love the weekends so you can spend time together when its not dark.

-You've been to Africa together...

...and other people caught you holding hands.

Here's to 10 years, four kids, and whatever else the Lord has planned. (because we've lived enough life together at this point to know we have no idea what that is) I love you!

A Meaningful Mother's Day

Mother's day is this Sunday! Do you know what you are getting for your mother/grandmother/great-grandmother? Well as of today we do and we thought you might need a great idea. So we are going to share. 

One of our family's goals has been to give more meaningful gifts that have eternal value. For mother's day we always try and make something because we know the mamas love that. 

This year my kids are helping make a cupcake themed card, because as you know we love cupcakes around here. This card was essentially free minus the printing cost which were very minimal. The kids are coloring it and filling in the questions about whatever special family member the card is for. 

We are also including a small card that says the following:

Happy Mother’s Day!

A gift has been given in your honor to the Babies Without Milk Program in West Africa. This program primarily provides milk to grandmothers (like you!) who are raising their orphan grandbabies after their daughters have died in childbirth. They provide the essential formula needed for a baby’s survival while sharing the love of Jesus Christ.

The Babies Without Milk Program is a program that we were able to be introduced to on our recent trip to Africa. We had actually heard about it for awhile but this was our first direct interaction with the director. It really caught my heart!

Since all of the "mothers" we are honoring are also grandmothers I thought this would be a wonderful way to honor them since most of the ladies who are involved with the program are grandmothers who are trying to save their grandbabies.

What a wonderful way to share the love of Jesus with the least of these (orphans) and the hurting family members who are mourning the loss of the baby's mother. Can you think of a better gift for a grandma than helping her save her grandson or granddaughter's life?

To be honest I was shocked at how many women still loose their life in childbirth around the world. Its not something we think about here in our western world. This program currently helps feed over 180 babies on a weekly basis!

For many of these babies they would literally die if not for the intervention of Babies Without Milk. Without a mother to feed them breast milk their only option is formula. The high cost of formula can literally be a death sentence for these sweet babies who are loved and cherished by our God.

If you'd like to join us in donating to the Babies Without Milk Program in honor of your special lady this mother's day simply click on the link below to donate. 

Donate to Babies Without Milk (In the drop box select Projects then West Africa Orphans.)

If you contact me I'd be happy to send you a PDF copy of our cupcake card for FREE for your kids to color and a small card stating that you donated to Babies Without Milk in their honor.

Happy Mother's day. Make it a meaningful one.