Jehovah Jireh- The Lord will Provide

About a month ago we were here. It was a crazy unknown place. And it left me literally sobbing on the alter at our church. I was begging God. Begging him to bring my son home safely. Begging him to make me willing to sacrifice. Begging him to provide whatever we needed.

And God has not disappointed. Since I last shared we have found a new agency to help us finish our adoption journey. This is huge. Some of you might remember that switching agencies wasn't simple, because there weren't any other agencies working in Guinea. We were back to the you have to do this, but there isn't anyone who does that place. (We've been here before, right Christine?) But, God in his amazing grace quickly used another family who is adopting from Guinea who is actually behind un in the process to connect with a lawyer who runs an agency in Tacoma, Washington called Faith International Adoptions. That very Monday after I sobbed my heart out to God I was able to talk with John Meske from Faith International and I had an incredible feeling of peace. I knew in my heart this was God's provision. Their agency has worked in countries without an established program, they are very familiar with the Hague, and they were willing to help! Did I mention they were willing to help us for FREE and John spoke French? Which was like the perfect icing on the cake. WOW, God! After networking with the other adoptive families who were in the same boat as us we all agreed that this was where God was heading.

Faith International has been amazing to work with and have been working hard to get everything that had been done incorrectly sorted out. And so we have finally filed the paperwork we thought we would be sending off in mid-July. In the end we see SO many benefits that have come from this major unforeseen upheaval. All the families from A New Arrival switched together to the new agency and we once again are working together to learn the process. This agency is much more suited for our needs and has a lot more experience. Our dream of seeing a program started is on much more solid ground. The Facebook group that was started with families who have adopted from Guinea and are in the process has been a huge encouragement! We've found out we aren't as alone as we thought. While we were pretty aware of the US couples in the process we've met couples from Canada and some expatriate families who are serving in other parts of Africa who are also in the process.

Our church has been worshipping around the different names of God. Earlier this summer we spent a week worshipping Jehovah Jireh, which means The Lord Will Provide. I had heard this name of God before. Mostly people praising God for his financial provision. But, it was fascinating to connect this name of God with the Old Testament story of Abraham and Isaac. Abraham was about ready to sacrifice his son Isaac. He took everything he needed for the sacrifice. Just before they reached the place Isaac said, "Behold the fire and the wood, but where is the lamb for the burnt offering?? And Abraham said, "God will provide for Himself the lamb for the burnt offering my son." We all know that just as Abraham was about to kill his son the Lord stepped in and provided a ram for the sacrifice.  After the sacrifice Abraham named the place "The Lord WIll Provide" which in Hebrew is YHWH-jireh. "Jireh" translates into "Provide."Pro means "before" and video mean "to see." So it means to see in advance or before the need is known. God is preparing to answer before we even know there is a need.

We have seen the truth of this passage in our own lives this summer.

I was concerned about finding another agency. Jehovah Jireh has provided with an amazing agency.

 I was concerned about what it would cost. Jehovah Jireh has provided for every step.

I was concerned about if I could keep going. Jehovah Jireh has provided encouragement from those who know this journey.

I was concerned about how long it would take.

This is the one area that hasn't changed. Its still going to take longer. Our sweet boy is still going to inch closer and closer to his third birthday in the orphanage. It's put us in a new season I hadn't anticipated. I am now at home with just Titus as both the girls are in school. And part of me feels like to be loyal to David I need to pout about that. I always thought that when this fall came it would be the "girls" at school and the "boys" at home. I still think its God's will that David be in a family as soon as possible. But, I am going to CHOOSE to trust in the fact that God loves and cares for both of my sons. I'm going to trust this good gift of extra mommy time that Titus is enjoying. And I'm going to pray like crazy for the son that I still cannot pour into with my presence.

Jehovah Jireh has provided peace and the willingness to continue to wait.

On the home front God specifically showed me this week that he can provide things that I couldn't even dream to pray for and its a pretty interesting story. But more on that soon.

Keep praying God's favor over that paperwork. We are praying by God's grace it will move quickly and not have any "red flags" that will prolong the process. We love you all for journeying with us!

Overcomer

It's been a long week. The journey of international adoption is a roller coaster, but this week hasn't even been ups and downs. It's been mostly the crazy unexpected free fall of the unknown. And to be totally honest its been hard. It's left me feeling fragile, like the next thing might break me.

I am typically one to share. I want people to feel like they are on this crazy God adventure with us because in many ways they are. Our family, our small group, our church family have been with us, supported us, prayed for us.

But, its also our very personal journey and this week I couldn't decide where I landed. Did I want people to know how to pray or did I just need some privacy?

Writing for me is like therapy (free therapy!). I sat down and started this post like 3 times but I couldn't find the words to share what is going on in my heart. Because the truth is we are still in the midst of the unknown and we haven't seen God claim the victory YET.

On Monday the family that is paving the way for us shared the sad news that they would have to return from West Africa without their boys. Mistakes had been made and they had no choice but to annul their adoption and begin again. It broke my heart for them and it scared my pants off. They are sacrificing so we and others can come behind.

We are right on their heals and had been hoping to file for our travel approval in the next two weeks. We finally thought we were moving forward. My heart had begun to hope again that we were "getting close." And then in the middle of everything we discovered that there were some unforeseen issues with our adoption agency. I don't want to go in to specifics but the result is that we will most likely need to change agencies. This means more paperwork, more time, more money.

A new agency must be chosen. Fees must be negotiated. Steps done will most likely have to be redone. And we now have no idea when David will come home. And I've teetered on the edge of believing I can do this. I am not a pioneer by nature. I like routine, predictability, and order. And I'm pretty sure that is why God chose to put my son in a country with no established adoption program. Because we aren't just getting a son. We are getting a hands on lesson in trusting God when things are TOTALLY out of our control.

Recently several friends have given birth to their fourth child. In my sinfulness I look and I'm secretly jealous. I think, "So easy. You get pregnant and in 9 months (ish) you get a beautiful baby." But, I know that is a lie. Having experienced the pain of miscarriage I know its not really that simple. And coming up on the one year birthday of my miracle niece I know for a fact that pregnancy is neither simple nor predictable.

And so I choose to believe truth in the midst of painful circumstances. I have reminded myself a million times this week that while we were shocked at all the setbacks God was not surprised. He is sovereign. He sees my hurt. He sees my son. God can overcome. He can make a way where there doesn't seem to be a way (or at least a speedy easy one). I already see glimpses of the good He is going to do. This week a private Facebook group was started for the families on this journey. Already it has brought a new sense of community and greater information sharing. I know that the great stories always make you think things aren't going to work out in the end. And God is a great writer of stories, ones that bring HIM the most glory.

Oh, God make me long for you to get glory the way I long for my son to come home. Take the selfish parts of me and replace them with a desire to serve you even in the hard unknown places. Remind me that I may be fragile, but you are not. Make me an overcomer...

This song totally blessed me this week. If you haven't heard it yet take a listen. Thanks for loving us and praying for us its such a blessing.

You Might Have Been Married 9 Years if...

You Might Have Been Married 9 Years if...

-You realize you are still wearing some of the same clothes you owned when you got married, and you are proud because they still fit!

-You wish you'd been married 10 years so you could justify taking a trip.

- You still feel like a newlywed but your towels are threadbare and your kitchen gadgets are starting to break.

-It's been a long time since anyone called you by your maiden name.

-You need a master's degree to coordinate the logistics of an actual date night.

-People have stopped commenting on how young you are when they see your entourage.

-You are still living in your "starter" house.

-You can't remember the last time you had an uninterrupted conversation.

-You are on your 3rd wedding ring. (American Eagle ring anyone?)

- You drive a mini van, and your just thankful its not a full size van at this point.

-You use the phrase, "Remember when..." a lot.

-You've quit jobs, diets, and making plans, but you haven't quit on each other.

-You figure out you from pictures through the years you've had every possible haircut there is.

- You still actually like to spend time together.

-You can still laugh together even if its at each other.

-You run into people who knew you when you were engaged and they say, "You have how many kids?"

-You realize you've lived more of your married life in Missouri than Illinois, but you still prefer Orange to Gold.

-All your pictures of the two of you are from one of you holding out the camera and clicking.

- You are still brave enough to take you kids camping, but only for 1 night at a time.

-You still like to kiss and your kids aren't big enough to say, "Gross!" yet.

-You have your very own family traditions.

-You're running out of creative "free" anniversary gifts.

-You can't remember the last movie you saw in the theater, but you are sure it wasn't a romantic one.

-You haven't given up on getting each other a Christmas ornament yet.

-You occasionally fantasize about the empty nest years.

- Your favorite conversations are when your driving down the road and all your kids have fallen asleep.

- You still love to do the same things together, you just don't get to do them as often.

-You have to fight your daughters for a date night.

-You have survived the transition to one kid, two kids, three kids, and you are brave enough to take on four.

-You are done "having" babies and have started adopting them.

-You love the weekends so you can spend time together when its not dark.

-You've been to Africa together...

...and other people caught you holding hands.

Here's to 10 years, four kids, and whatever else the Lord has planned. (because we've lived enough life together at this point to know we have no idea what that is) I love you!