1,000 Words or Less

Well, I haven't posted much this summer that involved any deep thoughts. Its mostly been a play by play (with less details than normal) on our life. But, the good news is that doesn't mean I haven't been thinking. I've actually been thinking, searching, praying, and trying to figure out all the stuff God has thrown our way. But, sometimes your life is such that the deep stuff just isn't ready for a blog post and that is still true as I type these words.

They say a picture is worth a 1,000 words and I feel like this picture is a pretty good representation of my life right now. You see that plant with the tag on it is my lilac bush.

Remember, the one I've always wanted and been too afraid to buy that my family got me for Mother's day?

Its still sitting in my backyard waiting for me to plant in... I picked a spot and then our house SOLD.... and I thought I would transplant it to that bigger pot its sitting in so I could keep it alive until we moved. A glimpse at what we thought might be God's direction. And then our buyers backed out at the last minute...and we were back at the familiar (although unsteady) ground of waiting.

Waiting for God to give our family clear direction about what he wants our family's faith legacy, our mark on this earth to be. Waiting for our house to sell or to figure out to wait where we are again. Waiting for kindergarten to begin and life to change again. Waiting for God to reveal his timing for our adoption. Waiting & wanting for our child to come home. Waiting on God to change me into the person he needs me to be for all that to happen. Waiting. Again.

The truth is it is hard on my lilac bush to wait in that pot. It needs more soil to dig down its roots and grow. Its surviving, but winter is coming and it won't make it through in that pot. And oh, how I feel I can't wait much longer either. But, unlike my plant God is doing his best growing in the unsteady ground of the unknown. Its not the sunny, sweet rain, soft breeze kind of growing. Its the scorching heat, torrential downpour, whipping wind kind of growing.

How long will I fight the Lord's desire to give me peace now in the "storm" of the unknown instead of waiting for the path to be clear? Oh, Lord I've glimpsed that peace this summer, but like my poor lilac bush I just can't seem to set down roots there.

Will I ever learn to wait with patience?

Until then I'm so thankful his grace is sufficient for one of my greatest weaknesses. Just like I'm tending to that bush while I wait to plant it I know God is tending to me. Even though it might not feel like "love" I am planted in the truth that it is.