It has been a game changer for me in my walk with Christ.
My freshman year of college I got serious about figuring out this relationship thing and for me that meant finally consistently getting into God's word. Its not that it was my first go round with Bible reading. I had tried and tried again throughout high school but in college something finally clicked. I began journaling and I started making my time with the Lord part of my daily schedule.
Fast forward almost 15 years later. I've had some dry seasons. But I've always came back to that holy habit. My kids know if they get up early they will find me reading my Bible. And I love that. But, its not enough.
I believe that...
God's word is truth. I believe that the answers I need are in there. I believe that spending time in God's word is a huge part of God transforming me into the woman he wants me to become. His word has been my comfort. It has been my joy. I have it posted all over my house. Recently when I was facing discontent I looked up verses on contentment and put them everywhere. I begged God to make those words true in my living breathing everyday life.
Our heart beat for the nations is closely tied to Pioneer Bible Translators. For years we've supported missionaries who champion the cause of God's word in every language. Because I truly believe in the power of Scripture.
But my actions inside my little yellow house aren't lining up.
Despite this priority in so many areas of my life I feel I have failed when it comes to reading the Bible to my children. Its not that we don't talk about the Bible or biblical principles. We do. But it doesn't feel like enough. I don't want my kids to be in college before they start practicing being in the word daily.
Each school year we've tried to find a model that works for our family.
We've tried after school.
We've had chaos and not listening and what felt like a total waste of time.
We've tried breakfast.
We've given up.
We've tried bed time (unfortunately my least favorite)
We've quit trying.
We've felt guilty.
We've tried again. And again. And again.
Honestly this single fact is the root of some of my deepest wrestling over wether we should be home schooling our children. But, the Lord has made it clear to me that he has called our family to be missionaries in the public school system. He has shown me that I need to embrace my calling and make time in the word with my children a priority versus thinking home schooling will solve my lack of discipline.
And so I recently shared this struggle with a friend. I got honest about how I felt like our circumstances just didn't seem to have a perfect fit. And I decided that we were going to try again and settle for good enough. I was going to let go of having a fancy curriculum. I was going to let go of the fact that my husband isn't home in the morning, but for now that is really the only time that works. I was going to stop letting my unrealistic expectations keep us from starting again even though we've failed so many times before.
This time I decided I needed all the help I could get. So I pulled out this shiny not so new ebay purchase kids Bible and explained to my kids why I thought this was so important. I told them that God used celebration throughout the Old Testament to help his people remember him. We set a goal. If we can get through this Bible by the end of the school year we are going to go stay in a hotel with a pool or go cabin camping (their choice). I knew if they were excited about it they would be my very best living reminders.
Part of me feels guilty. Like I shouldn't have to "bribe" us to get us to read the Bible. But a bigger part of me feels like this is too important not to help us form our holy habit.
And so here I am sharing my failure with all of you. Maybe your kids will snuggle right in for reading story books, but all hell breaks loose when you try to read the Bible at your house too.
Maybe you do mornings or bedtime alone and you know what its like to think you just can't do it by yourself.
Or maybe you've tried and failed too.
If so I'm keeping you company. But, I'm not sticking around. I'm trying again. And I'm giving this little Humiston family goal to God. Asking him to bless my meager efforts. Praying he will grow a love for his word in my kids.
Feel free to ask me how that is going. Really.
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