The Red Plate

I've been pretty honest around here. And it seems like you appreciate that. But, at the risk of you thinking I am currently screwing up every area of this parenting gig I thought I'd share one of our parenting wins. I love it because its a great example of "good enough" getting the job done.

When my girls were little I was in a mamas book club. I loved it. We read marriage/parenting books. It was like professional development for a SAHM. It gave me a goal and kept me learning. And I had HAVE a lot to learn. This idea came from one of the books we read. To be honest I have no idea which book it was, but of the millions of ideas we read about this one somehow stuck for us.

I'm guessing you've heard of it. Or a version of it. In no way am I thinking I'm throwing out something super original that you are going to want to pin on pinterest. The reason I'm blogging about it is because its been wildly successful in a way that surprised Jeremy and I.

Basically the original idea was that your family had a special plate that was used to celebrate accomplishments/birthdays. I believe the author simply had a plain red ceramic plate that the person got to eat off. I liked the idea and hadn't had a chance to do anything with it. I was planning to purchase a red dinner plate from Walmart the first time I went shopping there that I didn't desperately want to leave as soon as I found everything on my list.  (aka never happening)

Then that Christmas someone brought us cookies/candy on this red charger and I thought. Our red plate has come home.  So I took a sharpie and wrote, "Humiston Family Star" around the outside. That's it. I thought it will do for now in a pinch- let's get started before I forget this good idea.

It's a $1 store charger with a fading message in black sharpie.

And my kids want to eat off it more than anything else. Seriously.

Well, you might of guessed that I never got around to purchasing a fancy one like this.

Apparently there is an entire Internet Site/Store! Who knew?
(No worries I make absolutely $0 dollars if you click through.)

And I am guessing my grandkids will be eating off the homemade charger plate, because at this point my kids are kind of attached to it.

The thing I continue to marvel at is how motivated they are to try and earn the red plate. There have been times for bigger things where we have given them a choice that they can go get an ice cream cone or eat off the red plate. And the CHOOSE the red plate! (Score- that is totally free.)

Here are some things we've used the red plate for:
-Accomplishing a personal goal. (learning to unbuckle your own carseat/tying your shoes)
-Doing an act of service that your parent sees and you don't point out.
-Receiving a compliment from an adult. (Someone else tells mom or dad something good!)
-Birthdays
-Awards at School
-Dad's promotion at work
-Sacrifice (giving up the last piece or turn of something)

Jeremy has also been great about pulling it out a time or two to celebrate "mom." And having the kids tell me what they love about me.

When the kids were tiny we basically made stuff up.

For example we might have celebrated a day of no crying. But, it got them attached to the idea before they got too old to think it was dorky. They totally bought in.

In the beginning of the tradition we might go months without pulling it out. We were still learning to remember to celebrate. But, now that our kids are older they remind us. Or possibly even beg for us to notice things. When Titus did something good at preschool he asked his preschool teacher to write a note so he could tell me. (and get the red plate). Another of my children asked for a copy of an award at school so she could bring it home that night and said it was her ticket to, "a good life." It was really fun when David began to catch on to the idea of the red plate and began asking, "I earn the red plate?" any time he did something good.

One of my favorite parts about this tradition is that it challenges me to look for the good. If a member of our family hasn't had the plate in awhile I will watch for something to celebrate. We also try to use it to reinforce the importance not only of accomplishment but also biblical character. We give the red plate as much for service as we do awards.

This past week ALL of my children earned the red plate- that has never happened.

Grace- Star Reading & Math Award

 Faith-Star Math Award

 David-Picture in Newspaper

Titus- Being the First One Dressed (When he is always last & late!)

So, whether your plate is red or blue. Comes from a fancy special store or is just something you made up. Start celebrating with your kids. They will love it and you will too!

If at first you don't succeed...

I love God's word.

It has been a game changer for me in my walk with Christ.

My freshman year of college I got serious about figuring out this relationship thing and for me that meant finally consistently getting into God's word. Its not that it was my first go round with Bible reading. I had tried and tried again throughout high school but in college something finally clicked. I began journaling and I started making my time with the Lord part of my daily schedule.

Fast forward almost 15 years later. I've had some dry seasons. But I've always came back to that holy habit. My kids know if they get up early they will find me reading my Bible. And I love that. But, its not enough.

I believe that...

God's word is truth. I believe that the answers I need are in there. I believe that spending time in God's word is a huge part of God transforming me into the woman he wants me to become. His word has been my comfort. It has been my joy. I have it posted all over my house. Recently when I was facing discontent I looked up verses on contentment and put them everywhere. I begged God to make those words true in my living breathing everyday life.

Our heart beat for the nations is closely tied to Pioneer Bible Translators. For years we've supported missionaries who champion the cause of God's word in every language.  Because I truly believe in the power of Scripture.

But my actions inside my little yellow house aren't lining up.

Despite this priority in so many areas of my life I feel I have failed when it comes to reading the Bible to my children. Its not that we don't talk about the Bible or biblical principles. We do. But it doesn't feel like enough. I don't want my kids to be in college before they start practicing being in the word daily.


Each school year we've tried to find a model that works for our family.

We've tried after school.

We've had chaos and not listening and what felt like a total waste of time.

We've tried breakfast.

We've given up.

We've tried bed time (unfortunately my least favorite)

We've quit trying.

We've felt guilty.

We've tried again. And again. And again.

Honestly this single fact is the root of some of my deepest wrestling over wether we should be home schooling our children. But, the Lord has made it clear to me that he has called our family to be missionaries in the public school system. He has shown me that I need to embrace my calling and make time in the word with my children a priority versus thinking home schooling will solve my lack of discipline.

And so I recently shared this struggle with a friend. I got honest about how I felt like our circumstances just didn't seem to have a perfect fit. And I decided that we were going to try again and  settle for good enough. I was going to let go of having a fancy curriculum. I was going to let go of the fact that my husband isn't home in the morning, but for now that is really the only time that works. I was going to stop letting my unrealistic expectations keep us from starting again even though we've failed so many times before.

This time I decided I needed all the help I could get. So I pulled out this shiny not so new ebay purchase kids Bible and explained to my kids why I thought this was so important. I told them that God used celebration throughout the Old Testament to help his people remember him. We set a goal. If we can get through this Bible by the end of the school year we are going to go stay in a hotel with a pool or go cabin camping (their choice). I knew if they were excited about it they would be my very best living reminders.

Part of me feels guilty. Like I shouldn't have to "bribe" us to get us to read the Bible. But a bigger part of me feels like this is too important not to help us form our holy habit.

And so here I am sharing my failure with all of you. Maybe your kids will snuggle right in for reading story books, but all hell breaks loose when you try to read the Bible at your house too.

Maybe you do mornings or bedtime alone and you know what its like to think you just can't do it by yourself.

Or maybe you've tried and failed too.

If so I'm keeping you company. But, I'm not sticking around. I'm trying again. And I'm giving this little Humiston family goal to God. Asking him to bless my meager efforts. Praying he will grow a love for his word in my kids.

Feel free to ask me how that is going. Really.

You Know You Are Good Friends When

Well, I'm a little late with my post this week. But, I'm choosing Wednesday is GOOD ENOUGH, versus giving up on this little weekly blog post goal. On Sunday I was traveling from Dallas, Texas back to my home in good ol' Missouri with this gal. My husband flew me down there to visit one of my besties Lindsay as my birthday gift. He is awesome like that.

We had an amazing time just doing life together for a few days. My group of college girlfriends are a sweet gift from the Lord that I am constantly grateful for. Our time together inspired this little list.

You Know You Are Good Friends When...

1- You want your birthday present to be time together. Not super special time, just regular old pick your kids up from school and do the dishes everyday kind of time.

2-You NEVER stay up late anymore because you are officially old, but you string several late nights together.

3-You try really hard to avoid helping clean up their child's car sick vomit, but do it anyway because you love them too. Then you feel free to be honest and share your avoidance antics so you can both get a good hard laugh out of it.

4-You spend countless hours talking about saving money, making homemade everything, and end up visiting an Amish store because you just can't send her back to Texas without sharing your best deals.

5-You make dinner out a 3-4 hour long affair. We can never seem to run out of things to talk about.

6-You can share your ugly stuff and not be regretting sharing it later.

7-Your heart just cares about the same stuff and it makes you smile and stay up late and ignore your children as much as its possible. (Thank you amazing husbands!)

8-You get great joy in seeing your children play together, celebrate fall birthdays together, and in pictures together.

9-You come north to freeze on your children's fall break instead of staying in the blissfully still warm south.

10-You can't wait to share a neighborhood in heaven some day. And you have even more sweet friends that you can't wait to share it with too.

I've been through some rough friendship stuff in my life. I've done tears and change and I'm still growing. And through the hard I've never stopped being grateful that I found girlfriends like I did in college and that we are still journeying together today, even at a distance that sometimes requires an airplane.

Greener Grass or A Well Watered Garden

I have been staring at my computer for over twenty minutes, begging it to give me something. I toss around ideas for a few surface level posts. But, today it seems I have nothing to say.

I'm confused.

Jeremy and I are in a season of intense searching for what God has for us. And its not that God isn't working, I'm just not ready to share all the details.

Last night I sat in my van and I wept before the Lord.

(Because all mamas know the shower and your minivan parked in your own driveway are two of the places the Lord loves to work best, right?)

We were having a very honest chat about where he's brought us and where we are headed. I seem to know very little about the second.

But, the Lord didn't leave me alone. He gave me something.

Even though most of what I said to him involved ugly tears and asking the Spirit to intercede and communicate what I couldn't God gave me a picture. I am a super visual person. And what I saw was God planting my tears. And out of those tears over time beautiful flowers grew. Eventually, I know these tears will turn into a harvest of joy.

Now don't hear me wrong. I have no illusions that means those flowers will be exactly what I wanted to grow. It won't be everything working out exactly as I had hoped, planned, or even schemed. But, eventually there will be flowers.

God also brought this quote to my mind, "The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence, the grass is greener where you water it." And so I'm begging God to water me! I took that quote and I began searching my Bible for a verse to communicate this picture.

And this one just seemed perfect.

"The Lord will guide you ALWAYS, he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scortched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a WELL-WATERED garden." Isaiah 58:11

A master gardner I am not.

Especially when it comes to flowers. I might be motivated enough to keep vegetable alive because I like to eat. But, flowers not so much. I kept my one hanging basket of flowers alive this summer and was pretty proud of myself. If I had to make a future house wish list it would include no flower beds. Their up keep just stresses me out.

The only way I am going to have beautiful flower beds is if I were to turn that job over to someone else. Someone I would probably have to pay. So you can just enjoy the bright yellow paint, because that ain't happening.

And the only way I'm getting flowers growing in this mess of my life is if God is the master gardner planting my tears.

Maybe what I need isn't the allure of greener grass, maybe what I need is to be a well-watered garden.

(On a random side note apparently there is a plant called "baby tears" which I discovered while trying to find an image for this post...maybe I need to plant some for my window as my visual reminder of what God is teaching me. I can actually somewhat keep house plants alive. ;)