I am blessed.

The Lord has been teaching me a lot this week. I have really struggled with what to blog. I am so thankful Jeremy wrote the initial post about losing our baby. But I knew eventually I would also have to figure out a way to blog again. How do you write a blog about your ordinary everyday life when nothing feels ordinary? I have been so thankful for all the blessings God has shown me in my everyday life this week.

I am blessed to have an amazing husband.

While only God can provide the strength to get through difficult times like we have experienced Jeremy has been my rock. His support, patience, and love has gotten me through. I am so thankful I married my best friend.

I am blessed to have two healthy beautiful girls.

I have gazed upon my girls with a whole new appreciation this past week. I have been reminded that our children are only on loan from our heavenly father. As a stay at home mom each day I get many loves, hugs, and kisses. But, this week I have fully enjoyed each one.

I am blessed by my community.

Jeremy and I have earnestly prayed to feel like we have a community. One of the challenges of ministry for me is feeling connected to our church family and being able to trust these friendships. Our "big kids," church family, small group, and friends have truly blessed us by being the hands and feet of Jesus this week. God has made his love known to me through these special people.

I am blessed by good health.

One of the biggest shocks I experienced was the exhaustion and inability to care for my family. Due to the miscarriage I have been physically exhausted. I am also restricted from lifting anything over 10 pounds. It has been difficult to allow others to care for my family. I am blessed to be able to cook, do laundry, clean, change diapers, pick up my kids, go up and down the stairs, drive, etc.

I am blessed to know Jesus.

I'm not sure how you survive a miscarriage without the assurance that your child is with God. Its very difficult to physically not know where your baby ends up. I was so comforted by the fact that when our baby died it was with God and it didn't matter what happened to its earthly body. 

As we traveled to the emergency room I repeated the same prayer over and over. Protect my baby, and if that isn't your will than protect my heart, help us to trust your plan for our family. I am trusting God to answer that prayer. That he will show me how to see his special plan for putting together our family. And I can't wait to meet our baby someday in Heaven.

Baby makes 5!

The Humistons will be adding a new member to the family in October.

Monday was my first doctor's appointment. I was so excited. I was a little sad because Jeremy ended up having to watch Grace and Faith and didn't get to go with me. It was kind of funny to see both of the nurses' reactions when they asked if it was my first baby and I said, "No this is my third." The ultrasound revealed our little one and my heart beat faster when I could see the baby's heart beating on the screen. (The wonder doesn't fade-God's gift of life is amazing!) I also enjoyed getting to bring the picture from the ultrasound to show Jeremy (it kind of looks like a lima bean). He was very proud.  

When we told Grace she was so excited and proclaimed, "Baby Boy!" We just laughed and talked about who gets to decide if we have a baby boy or girl. She knew the answer. She replied, "God-I pray." She immediately folded her hands and prayed for a baby brother! It was adorable. She then got the privilege of announcing our big news to all of her grandparents. With each one she said, "Baby boy or baby girl in Mommy's tummy...long long time." And showed off the ultrasound picture. She continues to hope for a brother.

If you want to know how I've been feeling I have been secretly blogging about it here.
I'm Pregnant!

Doctor, Doctor

Counting Down the Days