A $550 Mistake, I mean Blessing!

Jeremy and I have had quite the week. What is so funny to me is how much the post has changed from what I thought I might originally write. Last weekend we bought a new couch from the paper. (Remember the really good deal one?) Well, to make a long story somewhat short it wouldn't fit in our basement. Looking back it doesn't seem quite so stressful, but at the time it was anything but! On Thursday night we brought it home and one of the boys from our youth group came over to help Jeremy move it into the basement because the trailer we rented to pick it up had to be returned early the next morning. Well, it wasn't budging and Jeremy and I were experiencing some "communication issues." (a.k.a. trying not to totally loose it in front of one of our kids) Well, he went home and told his parents, "I guess this just shows you everyone is human." Needless to say I was feeling very guilty I had spent $550 on a couch that wouldn't fit in our house. Luckily, my amazing husband wasn't mad at me for making such a stupid mistake I couldn't fix.  (Did I mention the trailer poked a small hole in the otherwise brand new looking couch?) 

On Friday morning this is what my living room looked like:

I couldn't believe I had made such a bad decision. But, I learned a very valuable lesson. I had been semi aware that one way I have been processing the grief our family is experiencing is to whole heartedly invest myself in "new" dreams. I have gotten myself excited about working on the house, improving my wardrobe, dreaming about our family vacation, etc. While this is not a bad thing it had resulted in me spending more money that normal. I am usually quite selective in how I spend money. I am so thankful the Lord showed me this before it became a issue in our home. God is a great teacher, even if I am a painful student.  

Thankfully my mother was coming for Garage Sale weekend and helped convinced me to put the couch in our upstairs living room. I was quite convinced it was too big and still frustrated it wouldn't go down the stairs. But after hours of rearranging it looks awesome and I LOVE it upstairs. (My mother was quite a saint, I was not easy to convince.)

So this is where the story gets long, but interesting... Remember, I said we had quite the week. Our basement flooded and is completely trashed. Those of you who are familiar with our home know that our basement is over half the square footage of our living space. It is our primary living room space and the girls' playroom/daycare area. I won't go into all the details but here is what my beautiful basement now looks like.

Basement with water, before the worst of it.

What is left of our bathroom...

But, God has continued to be faithful. Our small group has been absolutely amazing helping us move stuff, providing food, doing laundry, storing stuff, etc. And even though we still have a long road ahead to restore our basement I find myself in a place of thankfulness.  Did I mention what an absolute blessing it is to have a sectional couch upstairs? I know, I know God is funny! 

Even though my life lately sounds like a sad country song I have answered one of the faith questions that has always haunted me. I have always had a hard time singing the following worship song. I wondered if I could earnestly sing these difficult words. But, in my life recently I  have seen a glimpse of  the road marked with suffering. I have seen God give and take away in my life and I can honestly say, "Blessed be your name!"

Blessed Be Your Name
In the land that is plentiful 
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name

Blessed Be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name

Every blessing You pour out 
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's 'all as it should be'
Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering 
Though there's pain in the offering 
Blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out 
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name

I am watching to see how He will turn this basement "opportunity" into a blessing as well.

I am blessed.

The Lord has been teaching me a lot this week. I have really struggled with what to blog. I am so thankful Jeremy wrote the initial post about losing our baby. But I knew eventually I would also have to figure out a way to blog again. How do you write a blog about your ordinary everyday life when nothing feels ordinary? I have been so thankful for all the blessings God has shown me in my everyday life this week.

I am blessed to have an amazing husband.

While only God can provide the strength to get through difficult times like we have experienced Jeremy has been my rock. His support, patience, and love has gotten me through. I am so thankful I married my best friend.

I am blessed to have two healthy beautiful girls.

I have gazed upon my girls with a whole new appreciation this past week. I have been reminded that our children are only on loan from our heavenly father. As a stay at home mom each day I get many loves, hugs, and kisses. But, this week I have fully enjoyed each one.

I am blessed by my community.

Jeremy and I have earnestly prayed to feel like we have a community. One of the challenges of ministry for me is feeling connected to our church family and being able to trust these friendships. Our "big kids," church family, small group, and friends have truly blessed us by being the hands and feet of Jesus this week. God has made his love known to me through these special people.

I am blessed by good health.

One of the biggest shocks I experienced was the exhaustion and inability to care for my family. Due to the miscarriage I have been physically exhausted. I am also restricted from lifting anything over 10 pounds. It has been difficult to allow others to care for my family. I am blessed to be able to cook, do laundry, clean, change diapers, pick up my kids, go up and down the stairs, drive, etc.

I am blessed to know Jesus.

I'm not sure how you survive a miscarriage without the assurance that your child is with God. Its very difficult to physically not know where your baby ends up. I was so comforted by the fact that when our baby died it was with God and it didn't matter what happened to its earthly body. 

As we traveled to the emergency room I repeated the same prayer over and over. Protect my baby, and if that isn't your will than protect my heart, help us to trust your plan for our family. I am trusting God to answer that prayer. That he will show me how to see his special plan for putting together our family. And I can't wait to meet our baby someday in Heaven.