Online Conference

I wanted to share with you a great opportunity. I won a ticket to this online conference. I am really excited about it. There are lots of awesome speakers. It is a really inexpensive option for some inspiration. You can listen live, or if you are busy you can listen to the sessions at your own pace. I am hoping it will be both challenging and encouraging. One of my favorite author's Lysa Terkeurst will be speaking. Below is a promo video.

Grace's Fish

A couple of weeks ago we had a big event at our house. We became the owners of two goldfish. One of the incentives for Grace to become potty trained was the enticement of getting her very own goldfish. Every trip we made to Wal-Mart we had to go and look at the fish. Well, a few weeks ago on our Thursday night family night we went and purchased our fish. Grace picked out a purple tank. (of course!) We also bought bright colored rocks and something for them to swim through. We decided to get two so both the girls could enjoy the fun. They have LOVED helping feed them each night before bed. And sometimes will even watch them swim until they fall asleep. It has been super fun watching them enjoy their very first pet (our cat doesn't count because she is kind of grouchy!).

Since these original pictures were taken we have gotten a real live plant, from Gramy, to add to the tank. And we had to replace one of the fish. The weekend I was in the hospital we came home to find one of our fish hadn't made it. Needless to say it was a little more than I could deal with at the time! So we opted to have Jeremy go and buy a new fish before the girls returned home. I was worried they would figure it out, because it really looks different, but they didn't. While Jeremy and I both thought this would eventually be a good way to introduce the concept of death we decided this wasn't the right time with everything else going on in our family. So far the fish have been a fun & pretty easy addition to our little family. Grace would really love a dog but we are waiting till she is a little older to take on that challenge...

I am blessed.

The Lord has been teaching me a lot this week. I have really struggled with what to blog. I am so thankful Jeremy wrote the initial post about losing our baby. But I knew eventually I would also have to figure out a way to blog again. How do you write a blog about your ordinary everyday life when nothing feels ordinary? I have been so thankful for all the blessings God has shown me in my everyday life this week.

I am blessed to have an amazing husband.

While only God can provide the strength to get through difficult times like we have experienced Jeremy has been my rock. His support, patience, and love has gotten me through. I am so thankful I married my best friend.

I am blessed to have two healthy beautiful girls.

I have gazed upon my girls with a whole new appreciation this past week. I have been reminded that our children are only on loan from our heavenly father. As a stay at home mom each day I get many loves, hugs, and kisses. But, this week I have fully enjoyed each one.

I am blessed by my community.

Jeremy and I have earnestly prayed to feel like we have a community. One of the challenges of ministry for me is feeling connected to our church family and being able to trust these friendships. Our "big kids," church family, small group, and friends have truly blessed us by being the hands and feet of Jesus this week. God has made his love known to me through these special people.

I am blessed by good health.

One of the biggest shocks I experienced was the exhaustion and inability to care for my family. Due to the miscarriage I have been physically exhausted. I am also restricted from lifting anything over 10 pounds. It has been difficult to allow others to care for my family. I am blessed to be able to cook, do laundry, clean, change diapers, pick up my kids, go up and down the stairs, drive, etc.

I am blessed to know Jesus.

I'm not sure how you survive a miscarriage without the assurance that your child is with God. Its very difficult to physically not know where your baby ends up. I was so comforted by the fact that when our baby died it was with God and it didn't matter what happened to its earthly body. 

As we traveled to the emergency room I repeated the same prayer over and over. Protect my baby, and if that isn't your will than protect my heart, help us to trust your plan for our family. I am trusting God to answer that prayer. That he will show me how to see his special plan for putting together our family. And I can't wait to meet our baby someday in Heaven.