When God Gives You What You Need

I have opened this new blog post tab numerous times this week.

I just couldn't find anything to say.

I even took my plight to FB and got wonderful suggestions from some friends. But, alas I stink at forced creativity. Which is TOTALLY my mom's fault. When I have an idea its good, and when I can't find one and ask others for help I inevitably end up waiting for my own idea because I'm not good at running with someone else's creativity most of the time. (This make my husband adore me and never makes him supremely frustrated when he happens to be the person I'm asking for help!)

What I really needed was to go for a walk with a friend and talk for like twenty minutes until my idea surfaced. Its usually in there somewhere I just need someone to help bring it to the surface. (I said friend because this role frustrates my husband because apparently men don't talk to process. Go figure. Bless my husband for putting up with me!)

And so I "took a walk" over the phone with a friend this week and did some processing. And I knew from the start the reason I didn't have a post idea. Because the thing God wanted me to post about this week I had anchored down and tucked away. But, alas the Lord has made it clear that I should share what he taught me this week.

Right now my spirit is saying, "Boo to transparency!" But I type anyway.

Last week Jeremy and I spent in fasting and prayer. We have been seeking the Lord's direction for our lives. We had been planning this time for over a month and asked a few people to join with us. It sounds very spiritual. However, the week was much less romantic then it sounds. Jeremy was slammed at work. I was up to my eye balls in trying to finish up Orphan Sunday planning. We barely saw each other. We muddled through and prayed individually, but I'm not even sure we got to pray together.  And my fast was a total bust. I broke it early because I almost devoured our two smallish children with angry words. I've never done that-the breaking the fast early part- not the angry words part...apparently Satan really doesn't want us listening.

Random Side Note: The Lord was gracious to bring to mind a similar story from Greg Pruett's book Extreme Prayer  from when they tried to seek the Lord in prayer. I began reading the book again. You should read it too. I have a copy you can borrow. One of my best reads this year!

Okay, back from the commercial.

I was feeling very discouraged and frustrated. At the end of the week Jeremy and I both felt no closer to making decisions than when we started. We still have no idea what we are supposed to be when we "grow up."

So I was avoiding. Friend One calls Monday. We talk about everything...and she finally asks about how it went. I have nothing. I'm frustrated and discouraged and kind of embarrassed if I'm really honest. Friend Two texts on Tuesday. I don't text back. What am I supposed to say? It was a disaster? Friend Three messages on Wednesday. I ignore again. I'm feeling desperate at this point. I can't avoid them forever.

Enter my Thursday morning quiet time. God broke the silence. I decided to go back through the words and Scriptures that my friends had shared with me the previous week. I had wrote them all in my journal and read them numerous times. I finally admitted what I had already seen the week before. Over and over I saw a similar theme.

The curse words of my spiritual existence.

Wait

Wait patiently

God will honor your waiting upon Him

Wait

Keep on asking

Keep on seeking

Keep your spiritual fervor serving the Lord

Patient in affliction

Faithful in prayer

Joyful in HOPE

Unfortunately the first time around these words didn't leaving me feeling hopeful. They left me feeling despair.

I DON'T WANT TO WAIT ANYMORE!

(Yes, I sound like a toddler throwing a tantrum but its the truth.)

But Thursday morning God opened my eyes and showed me he didn't give me what I wanted. He gave me what I needed. And every good parent knows that is the best plan. And so I once again sit in hope. Even joyfully. Thankful the Lord didn't forget me. He gave me something in the midst of the crazy.

He gave me answers I needed, even if they weren't the answers I wanted.

So,  I'm here waiting. And praying for the patience part. And writing this down so I can remember to be joyful when the truth of the God's word come alive grows cold.

The Red Plate

I've been pretty honest around here. And it seems like you appreciate that. But, at the risk of you thinking I am currently screwing up every area of this parenting gig I thought I'd share one of our parenting wins. I love it because its a great example of "good enough" getting the job done.

When my girls were little I was in a mamas book club. I loved it. We read marriage/parenting books. It was like professional development for a SAHM. It gave me a goal and kept me learning. And I had HAVE a lot to learn. This idea came from one of the books we read. To be honest I have no idea which book it was, but of the millions of ideas we read about this one somehow stuck for us.

I'm guessing you've heard of it. Or a version of it. In no way am I thinking I'm throwing out something super original that you are going to want to pin on pinterest. The reason I'm blogging about it is because its been wildly successful in a way that surprised Jeremy and I.

Basically the original idea was that your family had a special plate that was used to celebrate accomplishments/birthdays. I believe the author simply had a plain red ceramic plate that the person got to eat off. I liked the idea and hadn't had a chance to do anything with it. I was planning to purchase a red dinner plate from Walmart the first time I went shopping there that I didn't desperately want to leave as soon as I found everything on my list.  (aka never happening)

Then that Christmas someone brought us cookies/candy on this red charger and I thought. Our red plate has come home.  So I took a sharpie and wrote, "Humiston Family Star" around the outside. That's it. I thought it will do for now in a pinch- let's get started before I forget this good idea.

It's a $1 store charger with a fading message in black sharpie.

And my kids want to eat off it more than anything else. Seriously.

Well, you might of guessed that I never got around to purchasing a fancy one like this.

Apparently there is an entire Internet Site/Store! Who knew?
(No worries I make absolutely $0 dollars if you click through.)

And I am guessing my grandkids will be eating off the homemade charger plate, because at this point my kids are kind of attached to it.

The thing I continue to marvel at is how motivated they are to try and earn the red plate. There have been times for bigger things where we have given them a choice that they can go get an ice cream cone or eat off the red plate. And the CHOOSE the red plate! (Score- that is totally free.)

Here are some things we've used the red plate for:
-Accomplishing a personal goal. (learning to unbuckle your own carseat/tying your shoes)
-Doing an act of service that your parent sees and you don't point out.
-Receiving a compliment from an adult. (Someone else tells mom or dad something good!)
-Birthdays
-Awards at School
-Dad's promotion at work
-Sacrifice (giving up the last piece or turn of something)

Jeremy has also been great about pulling it out a time or two to celebrate "mom." And having the kids tell me what they love about me.

When the kids were tiny we basically made stuff up.

For example we might have celebrated a day of no crying. But, it got them attached to the idea before they got too old to think it was dorky. They totally bought in.

In the beginning of the tradition we might go months without pulling it out. We were still learning to remember to celebrate. But, now that our kids are older they remind us. Or possibly even beg for us to notice things. When Titus did something good at preschool he asked his preschool teacher to write a note so he could tell me. (and get the red plate). Another of my children asked for a copy of an award at school so she could bring it home that night and said it was her ticket to, "a good life." It was really fun when David began to catch on to the idea of the red plate and began asking, "I earn the red plate?" any time he did something good.

One of my favorite parts about this tradition is that it challenges me to look for the good. If a member of our family hasn't had the plate in awhile I will watch for something to celebrate. We also try to use it to reinforce the importance not only of accomplishment but also biblical character. We give the red plate as much for service as we do awards.

This past week ALL of my children earned the red plate- that has never happened.

Grace- Star Reading & Math Award

 Faith-Star Math Award

 David-Picture in Newspaper

Titus- Being the First One Dressed (When he is always last & late!)

So, whether your plate is red or blue. Comes from a fancy special store or is just something you made up. Start celebrating with your kids. They will love it and you will too!

If at first you don't succeed...

I love God's word.

It has been a game changer for me in my walk with Christ.

My freshman year of college I got serious about figuring out this relationship thing and for me that meant finally consistently getting into God's word. Its not that it was my first go round with Bible reading. I had tried and tried again throughout high school but in college something finally clicked. I began journaling and I started making my time with the Lord part of my daily schedule.

Fast forward almost 15 years later. I've had some dry seasons. But I've always came back to that holy habit. My kids know if they get up early they will find me reading my Bible. And I love that. But, its not enough.

I believe that...

God's word is truth. I believe that the answers I need are in there. I believe that spending time in God's word is a huge part of God transforming me into the woman he wants me to become. His word has been my comfort. It has been my joy. I have it posted all over my house. Recently when I was facing discontent I looked up verses on contentment and put them everywhere. I begged God to make those words true in my living breathing everyday life.

Our heart beat for the nations is closely tied to Pioneer Bible Translators. For years we've supported missionaries who champion the cause of God's word in every language.  Because I truly believe in the power of Scripture.

But my actions inside my little yellow house aren't lining up.

Despite this priority in so many areas of my life I feel I have failed when it comes to reading the Bible to my children. Its not that we don't talk about the Bible or biblical principles. We do. But it doesn't feel like enough. I don't want my kids to be in college before they start practicing being in the word daily.


Each school year we've tried to find a model that works for our family.

We've tried after school.

We've had chaos and not listening and what felt like a total waste of time.

We've tried breakfast.

We've given up.

We've tried bed time (unfortunately my least favorite)

We've quit trying.

We've felt guilty.

We've tried again. And again. And again.

Honestly this single fact is the root of some of my deepest wrestling over wether we should be home schooling our children. But, the Lord has made it clear to me that he has called our family to be missionaries in the public school system. He has shown me that I need to embrace my calling and make time in the word with my children a priority versus thinking home schooling will solve my lack of discipline.

And so I recently shared this struggle with a friend. I got honest about how I felt like our circumstances just didn't seem to have a perfect fit. And I decided that we were going to try again and  settle for good enough. I was going to let go of having a fancy curriculum. I was going to let go of the fact that my husband isn't home in the morning, but for now that is really the only time that works. I was going to stop letting my unrealistic expectations keep us from starting again even though we've failed so many times before.

This time I decided I needed all the help I could get. So I pulled out this shiny not so new ebay purchase kids Bible and explained to my kids why I thought this was so important. I told them that God used celebration throughout the Old Testament to help his people remember him. We set a goal. If we can get through this Bible by the end of the school year we are going to go stay in a hotel with a pool or go cabin camping (their choice). I knew if they were excited about it they would be my very best living reminders.

Part of me feels guilty. Like I shouldn't have to "bribe" us to get us to read the Bible. But a bigger part of me feels like this is too important not to help us form our holy habit.

And so here I am sharing my failure with all of you. Maybe your kids will snuggle right in for reading story books, but all hell breaks loose when you try to read the Bible at your house too.

Maybe you do mornings or bedtime alone and you know what its like to think you just can't do it by yourself.

Or maybe you've tried and failed too.

If so I'm keeping you company. But, I'm not sticking around. I'm trying again. And I'm giving this little Humiston family goal to God. Asking him to bless my meager efforts. Praying he will grow a love for his word in my kids.

Feel free to ask me how that is going. Really.